Wrote last night April 29th:
I feel so inspired. So connected to source. I feel full of gratitude. Trusting. Listening.
Today was amazing. There was a number of times I felt blessed with challenges in communication, having breakdowns and seeing breakthroughs. Today, I felt an emotion and stayed with it longer. Today, I breathed instead of reacted. I was patient and I waited for the wisdom to come through me. What should I do? Who am I “being” about this? Do I really want to have coffee(no)? What do I want to eat? Am I really hungry? Do I want to react? Why am I feeling distant all of a sudden?
I was inspired by the healing that comes from love. Someone told me to “fuck off” today. I was triggering something within her and raising a question that was uncomfortable. I also realized that maybe I raised the question because something within her triggered me and I was reacting to it, although I was really trying not to say anything! (stuffing my emotions). After she told me to fuck off, I thought about how we were going to have to talk about it and for a moment, I had the need to talk about it right away. Then, I decided to let her/it go and give it space. “Maybe she can reflect on why she told me to “fuck off”,” I thought. However, what would that have done? it quite possibly would have left her bearing negative emotions of feeling bad and guilty about herself. Not wishing that upon her, I was suddenly drawn to hug her, in which she openly received…
The presence of love reminded me that it is love that heals. After that hug and space between words, we both softened and realized we had both reacted to something that was triggering us, although nothing really having to do about the other.