If I choose to focus on another persons’ mistakes, incompatibilities, and drawbacks, I am creating them as such and in turn, confining myself to my own limitations. “What we see in others, we strengthen in ourselves.” If I judge others, I am not giving them the space to be who they are in the present moment, to learn from their mistakes, and to grow and evolve out of their past. If I do not grant others the freedom to be who they, how can I expect to break from the confines of my own negative beliefs about myself and accept who I am?
I am beginning to see that loving myself is loving and accepting others as they are. It is common to want to put people in a box, to define who they are as being a certain way. I realize how limiting this is however. If I look for a “weakness” in another, I am likely to focus on their weakness as a problem in my relating to them. If I use judgement to define a person, I am likely to lose sight of the essential qualities within them and miss out on experiencing them as they truly are. When I lose sight of their presence, it is natural that they lose sight of my presence. They too begin to judge. The story is self-perpetuating. When I judge another, I am met with the same energy.
Ironically, I can’t stand being put in a box. For a month, I changed my name so that I didn’t feel constrained by the limitations people had about me (and I had about myself). I realize how confining and inhibiting it is to feel judged. I also realize how liberating and free I feel when I am witnessed in the eyes of another not judging me. This seems to be a perfect example of how I project my fears onto others and how my thoughts and beliefs get mirrored back to me. To me, it is a lesson and a sign.
We are one.