I wrote this a few days ago.
Today is beautiful. I am making more efforts to hanging out and accepting more people into my life. It’s still kind of difficult to create a deep and lasting relationship which in many ways I long for. I really desire to have more close friendship(s); I know that in order to have this, I would need to make myself more available and be an invitation for others to know me. I’m so use to having someone around- lover or friend- that really knows me. When I think these thoughts, I feel lonely..so I am acknowledging how important friends are in my life and am doing my best to reach out and be with them!
I also realize that maybe it is just not Gods plan for me to cultivate my relationships right now (?). I know that space is good for me and a level of autonomy is needed for me to learn more about myself and go deep within. It definitely plays a part.
I am seeing how I create and by doing so, I am creating more possibility for myself these days. I am seeing that there are infinite possibilities and it depends on how I react. I am noticing when I am judging. I am present to gratitude and the abundance in my life, despite some circumstances that I wont share. lol. I am noticing what excites me. I am giving space where it is needed. I am reaching out instead of going in. I am shedding old ways of being and am exploring myself.
Right now, I am looking for a flute to purchase! I’m so excited about it! I would love to join in circles and make music with people, but what I love about the flute is also that it is simple, beautiful, and I can play it anytime.
In class today, I asked my teacher to lead me in a song. I know he loves singing cause I took a class with him before. We didn’t sing long but it was soo uplifting. I’ve been feeling called to play an instrument and I just love to sing..although I often only know a line or two of a song (lol). I’ve been listening to the flute on cd and I’m just so much more excited about it. Integrating flute music to my practice will be a great addition.