Monthly Archives: July 2010

cultivate my fire!

I am ecstatic to feel uplifted! In an intuitive reading with Adrienne Fodor, I was amazed by what beautiful advice she was giving and how much it was resonating.

Key words: cultivate my fire, balance my elements.. bodywork, earth, sun, heat, complete foods… What I imagine cultivating my inner fire is following my passions and listening to myself. A week off.

Today was a melancholy day. I was questioning what my passion was and doubting that it existed. While I kept myself stable throughout the day at work, I started to break a bit, revealing to others that I was stressed out and BEING depressed. Uncertain by my thoughts, unable at times to break free of them, I began to realize and notice that this is where a little space is crucial. Space to sit, to breathe, to generate more light….

When I got home, I took a lot more space, All of a sudden, the fire got brighter as I began to move through and create the possibility of having my own space and living alone. While I have been living alone for quite some time, subletting my friend’s space, the thought of creating my own space, a place to live and work from got really exciting!

Lately, I’ve been hearing myself speak about the need to make my practice my work, using the tools and skills I already have and refining them and using them for sessions with people. I do not yet know where my practice will lead, but I trust that I will know more by just starting with what tools I already have. There is fear and risk and maybe this is also cultivating more passion/fire.

So now I am excited about the possibility of a cute, sunny and affordable studio/one bedroom in a convenient location, either in the east bay or in the city, close to nature and in a warm location!

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The power of love

Glory to ALL
Is the power of love
Pay attention to the gifts and the signs
that just so happen to fall from the sky.
every encounter
every experience
to explore the unknown
the depths of my being
and then to let go.
Therein lies- a power to love.

A conscious love-
to love for the sake of love.
ONE with all.
I release the fear, the blocks that get in the way, experiencing loves presence.

Glory is in the power to love.

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My intention.

Sometimes I have a sense that I am driving in a fast lane and it is getting in the way of me living a fully sensual and ecstatic life.

What is my intention?

Lately, I’ve been imagining being at home more and waking up with plenty of time for practice and self-care. Life without too many appointments and more time spent in a back yard on a hammock or in a comfortable chair- reading, studying, playing my flute, having an inspiring conversation, being with family, and letting my body just be at ease. I see nature walks more and running and a collective garden. I imagine drinking tea often and living an ecstatic life full of play, dance, and worship. I feel good in my body, my mind, and my heart. I see myself choosing more powerfully and I imagine work to be even more in line with my true purpose in being and service to LOVE.

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Ch-ch-ch-changes! Time to face the change…

Change is in the air. I do not yet know where I will live in August. I have 2 weeks to find out. Gladly, I am not worried. I know that I have options. I trust that the universe will point me in the direction I need to go. Right now, I am drawn to the East Bay. My body says “yes,” although practically speaking, school is there and it is quieter. I may return to my sublet in the city in November, although I desire family, a family that wishes to live and create a sacred space with me. I may move into a house of beautiful and amazing womyn that I know. That is ideal; however, I let go of any ideas or thoughts that there are particular people in my life to fulfill my needs. Yes. I need people. I couldn’t survive without them, and yet, I am told that the greatest lesson in living is in letting go of expectations of how things and people should be. It is a constant practice for us Scorpios and probably many others.

Instead of maintaining control, I am flexible, light-hearted, and loving.

Admittedly, it is uncomfortable to feel out of control. Like a student on an abounding river that has no banks, I strive for some sense of it. The greatest and most powerful sense of control I have however is in my emotions. At times, I just want to scream and yell curse words. Generally, I’m pretty even. Occasionally, I will get to a point of exhaustion and have no energy that I will need to relax and do nothing or play on my flute or sit and pray or sleep. Throughout my day, I might make subtle noises and I will shake to allow the vibration/energy to flow through me and out. This is a very healing tool to practice, yet many people look at me like I’m crazy.

Good night.

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“The only way beyond the body is through the body.”

Sri Yantra:

Sri Yantra and the human body are identical to each other. Sitting in the human body are locations where the male and female principles are in absolute union: at the base of the body, at the heart, and in the crown of the head.”

-The convergence of masculine and feminine forces in the body. When the whole body/mind relaxes out of natural relatedness making ONE.
-Connection with the heart
-4 upward moving triangles: God/Divine Masculine: Pointing toward the Cosmos
-5 downward moving triangles: Divine Feminine/the Goddess: Point toward Earth/ground.

Female/Male, Yin/Yang:

We are female and male in nature.

The Goddess: the nurturing force of life, Mother. Receptive.
The God: the active force, movement. Strengthening.

To strengthen one is to receive another.

What I’m learning?

We all have needs at times. Even so, there is a difference in simply having needs and knowing that all our needs can be found within ourselves. Cultivating a deep and intimate relationship with myself is an essential quality in relating to ONE through my being in the world. It is in an intimate relationship to knowing myself that my needs will most likely be met.

How to create an intimate relationship with myself?

Treating my body as a temple.
Making love to myself.
Listening to my inner guides.
Doing what I really want to do.
Using and integrating all the senses.
Self-control.
Practice daily.
Being in my body. Movement and breath.
Therapy.
Music.
Forgiving others and myself when mistakes are made.
Letting go. Nurturing within.
Eat pure, clean and light.
Setting boundaries.
Setting intentions.
Creating a beautiful and intimate space.
Candle-lighting.

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