This photo is from OSHO TAROT. “The Outsider.” I pulled it yesterday while at Om shan Tea house. It is of a boy who is behind a gated wall, looking to the other side. He thinks he is bound within the walls, however the gate is actually unlocked.
Spiritual practice is getting me present to all the neurosis that I am dealing within myself, such as that I am torn between tendencies and desires and knowing and trusting what is good for me at this time. Sometimes the path of healing does not seem to be healing at all, but I know that I am meant to learn from these experiences. I am clearing the perceptions that bind me and as I do so, I am faced with a great deal of spiritual tests.
It’s very challenging to consider that everything and everyone I encounter are really just aspects of myself. It is challenging to admit that I am “wrong” or responsible for things happening to me and it is even more challenging to see that I am responsible for other peoples faults, interpretations, and/or judgments of me. It is also a feat to experience solitude in a room full of people, to feel “different,” and yet know that I am not.
Through these experiences, I have will to learn and grow and yet I anticipate breaks that sometimes I am impatient about. They will come. As I use “my” tools for self-care, I breathe into the discomfort. Right now, I am drinking tea and writing these words to express my feelings and authentically share the challenges along the healing path. I share with strength and an inner knowing that this path is the way to wholeness. I am strengthened in this writing.