Anger is a necessary stage in healing. Everyone experiences some form of anger, whether it is a fiery anger that is explosive or a watery anger that comes and goes. Either way, anger is a necessary process that we often suppress and deny out of shame, guilt, and fear of judgment. When we suppress and deny anger, we deny a part of our authenticity that could be useful in creating positive change in our lives. Instead, anger often festers in the body.
Emotion is really just a feeling that we put a word to. However, we attach ourselves to emotions and the feeling gets stuck in our bodies, somewhere- sitting, waiting to resurface so that it can release. The more we suppress our emotions, the more it builds up in our bodies. Eventually, this can create physical and mental dis-ease and stress.
It is not necessary to blame and project feeling angry onto other people when all the body wants to do is have it be acknowledged and released. Of course, there could always be someone to blame and through this blaming, we get more and more angry. When we hold on to blaming however, we poison ourselves with the anger that wants to release. There is really nothing to be ashamed of, no one to be scared of, nothing to feel guilty about when we release anger. Things happen to us and it sucks sometimes but it is us that chooses who we get to be about our life circumstances.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross describes in her book “On Death and Dying,” 7 stages of Healing.
1st stage: denial
2nd stage: anger
3rd stage: Bargaining
4th stage: Depression
5th stage: Acceptance
6th stage: Rebirth
I don’t doubt that the root of our physical and mental dis-ease lies within it a good deal of built up anger. Many people never move on from this stage of healing and are not even aware that there emotions create disharmony in the body.
How do we release anger without suppressing it?
After becoming aware that I have been suppressing my anger toward my current circumstance with past dental “care,” I am much more active about releasing this anger. i sit and feel the anger, I feel the negative thoughts. I notice myself blaming the conditions which created it. i sit and notice this anger and I let the anger build us inside of me until I can’t hold it in anymore. Then I let go and do whatever I need to do to further this release.
It is helpful to be in a quiet space where you know you are safe. To ensure your safety, you can lock the doors and set an intention to release your anger. You can make it a sacred and intimate connection to be with yourself. If you can’t find solitude, you can warn the people around you that you need to release anger. You can ask for their suggestions or guidance. You can ask them to join you even! You could also scream in a pillow or sing and hum out your anger. I recommend doing whatever you can. Notice in your body where you feel your anger resides. Build resistance and then release, kick, scream, yell, shake…whatever you know you need to do to release the anger from your body.
If you know you have anger that has been in your body for a long time, I also recommend massage/energy therapy, loving touch. When we suppress anger, as well as other emotions, we can lose touch with our feelings. We might feel numb, as if we don’t have feelings. If this is the case, it is very important to let yourself be touched by someone you can trust.