Resonating with Anger
I didn’t think I could get angry. Or that it was very healthy.
But I have signs that it is time to be angry!
Life is so interesting.
The other day in the middle of Chi Gung class, the teacher, who I don’t know, suddenly approaches and instructs me to bring my head to the floor and breath with my mouth open. She says she sees my ancestors.
My parents come in town and I really notice how much fear they carry within them. I see it in my mom especially. I wonder whose energy she is carrying.
I spend time alone and a vision appears of an “ancestor.” His eyes are dark. I am not afraid of him but he is angry. He wants to play. He is bored. I think he is a healer.
I had been pulling the “death” card in tarot.
My neighbor is murdered.
I’ve been thinking about my own death and letting go of the ideas that have been serving my ego.
I see light but I am in the dark.
I get a reading from an Intuitive Guide/Clairvoyant, Adrienne Foder, and she sees a heavy energy around my mouth. She asks if I am holding on to anger and to be with my anger longer when it comes up. It’s not getting through…
I have been angry at dentists and health care. I avoid going to the dentist because I think the work they do is often unnecessary and I think the work that they’ve done to me is “oppressive.” I get angry at myself and I feel ashamed! I have been avoiding anger because it scares me but now I see that I have been suppressing anger!
I am resonating with all those people who feel like victims because the shit that happens to them that wounded them. I realize I am still healing and I believe God is presenting me with this problem because I must be “ready.” The emotion, Anger, is a valid emotion that I have to acknowledge, release, purge. I seek alternative solutions to empower myself. I seek holistic, more aggressive action and care. Already, it is helping but I need a good dentist who actually thinks outside the box!
Thank God I live alone for me to process these emotions. Thank God for intuition and guidance. Thank God for signs! Thank God for light. Thank God for the darkness, for if there were no shadow to confront, I would be all light and I wouldn’t be grounded. Thank you God for this experience, as I process anger, I will let it arise and I will listen to what I need to do, say, be in the moment when it occurs. I will make noise. I will shake. I will embrace humility. I truly believe that what lies beneath the physical is something hidden- mental, emotional, spiritual. Thank you God for bringing to light that which needs to be healed. Thank you God for these challenges at love, for to overcome this- the love for myself and all will only grow!