The integration of light and dark.
Shame and guilt and fear bind us to our suffering. What would life be like if it were a shameless one; if all of a sudden, we were teleported into another dimension where people didn’t feel guilty.
Should the guilty feel guilty, through our own judgement that they are? It wouldn’t surprise me, if many people were conflicted by this thought. Isn’t it immoral, against God, to shame and make ourselves wrong. If God is unconditional love, wouldn’t God forgive the “guilty,” as Jesus did before he ascended into heaven.
“Forgive them father, for they no not what they do.” …
If God is unconditional love, perhaps then, it is not God who blames the “guilty” but the ego that makes everything wrong. The ego compares and contrasts. The ego judges to protect itself from FEELING hurt.
When we suffer, instead of feeling the pain of what happened, we blame and project our feelings onto other people. Oftentimes, we don’t let go until we have to, only to find that the pain is still there, being reenacted by similar life situations. The body, a teacher told me, holds the subconscious. So perhaps the source of healing is in feeling our pain. Taking responsibility for what are seemingly external circumstances and letting ourselves feel in our body and acknowledge hurt.
I wonder how evolved we would get!
If we integrated the light with the dark through feeling and through conscious awareness without guilt, perhaps we would also be more understanding and compassionate that suffering is suffering, no matter what differences there are. While the cost of stuffing our feelings through guilt and shame serves us on one hand, it also prevents us from feeling joy and free on another.
Personally, I can see within myself, a great deal more love and less attachment, as I look within to forgive and see love, while feeling judgments. At the same time, I still have attachments and life lessons and I still could use coaching from the people around me, thankfully!!! Perhaps, I am writing because I notice the part of me that does not want to feel, or is just not ready to be completely available. The part of me that feels guilty for not listening to myself and makes choices that are still not good for me… While I can say, I feel more, I would still say I’m learning.
I’m grateful to all my teachers- friends, family, mentors, teachers- for helping me to integrate the light.