Acknowledging an old memory

Yesterday, I was suddenly reminded of the abuse I had done to animals. As I was petting this dog, all of a sudden the memory of how I was once so mean to my animals showed up…

Dear dog and cat.

I realize yesterday that there is an old contract that I must revisit. When I would get angry and frustrated, I would take my anger out on you. When I would get sad, I would want you near me. When I experienced you as being in my way, I would take my frustration out on you. I would yell at you and I was abusive sometimes. I imagine how confusing that would be and I remember how loyal you always were. I want to thank God for how you expressed your love always and despite, how mean I was, I want to thank God for teaching me that you too are a messenger of God. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me. While you were crying for my attention, when I would get mad, it was God, disguised as you, telling me to slow down and to love myself by loving you. Thank you.

I am seeing that this is what we often do when we are angry at ourselves or when we feel separate from God. Instead of receiving God, who is love, we act out aggressively and reject God. We act out toward the things that love us most.

I am relearning love and I know that love would not be abusive. If I feel aggressive, I need only to acknowledge my feelings and let go.

I thank God for revealing to me this memory to heal. While I let go of the shame, I acknowledge the hurt..

LOVE

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