Monthly Archives: August 2011

Relationship: Evolving from negative thinking

Does it seem that, generally, we tend to meet people where they are at by agreeing or conforming, at least for a short time, to the ways of partner/friend/comrade. Somewhere within our being there is a deep desire to connect and be met, acknowledged and loved by people around us and yet, not all the time, do we really agree or feel similarly to “other.” Sometimes negativity, disagreement, and unsettled feelings seem to happen more often than good times. So we come at odds, struggling within ourselves and within our relationships.

Our ability to evolve is dependent on seeing healthy mirrors and spending time alone. When one is around negativity, then another may pick up that negatively and carry it with them until they actively clear it. For this reason , some relationships that were once close will want to be reevaluated. If there are relationships that drain our energy, we will want to consider how this investment costs us and how it benefits us.

For the evolutionary, on the path to higher consciousness, which I believe is toward conscious, unconditional love, there are good questions to consider when choosing to spend time with people.

What mirrors do I want to attract? What agreement/contract have I made to attract the relationships I am in?

Do I feel empowered in these relationships? How can I create an empowering relationship between us, so that we evolve each other, spiritually grow and develop?

How much time on earth am I willing to spend, living in a disempowered reality?

How often and how much can I presence love, without defense or need to be “right?”

How much can I love myself in the presence of this particular person/mirror?

Do I feel at one with myself in the presence of this perceived “other?”

Does our relationship feed separation or oneness?

Is there still learning and growing to do in this relationship?

What is working? What isn’t working in this relationship?

What does this relationship have to teach me about myself?

There is great deal of us who fall into the category of negative thinking. It is not that we are negative, but there is a seed within us that we have been watering for lifetimes; that is, our ego. Without conscious awareness to perceive the ego’s grip, to be right, special, superior, justified, we believe we are doing good by telling what is “wrong” in the world, ourselves, and each other. What often happens is that we tend to agree with negativity, through feeling sorry for the “other” and justifying their feelings as acceptable or through taking on their energy kinistetically. When we do this, what we actually do is create and attract more “wrong” in our life, perpetuating fear and emotional turmoils that strengthen the already existing separate mentality.

Because we are becoming more sensitive to subtler energies/realities, we want to make sure that we are feeding light and love and not negativity and fear. Therefore, it is important to learn to separate from negative energy. This can be done without blame, as everyone is a mirror and every moment can be an opportunity to practice, learn about ourselves, and heal.

One thing to consider is psychic regeneration and the subtle body. In kundalini yoga, we studied that there are actually 10 bodies, 6 bodies of which are subtle or etheric. These subtle bodies more greatly impact and effect our physical body, which is all that we see, our perception of reality. The view of reality, in which, we see, often masks our true identity; they are made up of visual imprints learned or conditioned throughout lifetimes. We can know our view of reality by looking at what is happening in present time, what we see projected outside of ourselves. With awareness, we can work to strengthen the subtle bodies and clear space within these realms, so that we can live from our true identity, as one.

The space that is required may be temporary but necessary for psychic regeneration to occur. Without this regeneration of the etheric or subtle realms, it becomes more difficult to love, like a fog has come over. Perhaps, all one needs to clear the air/space within relationship is time apart. While within established relationships, we want to continue growing and developing ourselves together and we care about the “other,” we also need to listen to ourselves. If we don’t take the space we need to regenerate, integrate what we are learning, and restore our life force energy, we become a breeding ground for negativity.

Therefore, as much as possible, spend time alone and in the accompaniment of clean, friendly, creative, loving mirrors- however that looks.


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Journaling thoughts…

I am grateful. As I write, I learn. I am on a spiritual path as anyone, whether we know it or not, everything is spiritual…

Today I got, what I was perceiving as the dirtiest look someone could give me. I noticed shame within myself as well as the defense of wanting to make her wrong for my shame and for her shaming me. Then, I remembered, “this is just my experience. I could choose a different experience. See love”, I thought, “and turn the other cheek.”

So I thought about how this woman was probably amazing to someone and that there were qualities within her that I would love as well. Also, perhaps it was only because she became a victim to life or because she was afraid of something I did that she had the moment to give me such a dirty look. Perhaps she wasn’t even giving me a dirty look but I was perceiving it as such based on my past experiences.


We can never know what one is thinking unless we ask. Therefore, it is ridiculous to make up stories or become hyper-aroused for perceived losses at what is likely to be our ego.

Only the ego can be hurt and defended by what others say or do. God, who is unconditional love, would simply hold space for our perceived losses/negativities and not make it mean anything. This, I truly believe and because it empowers and feeds me to think, act, and live for higher good, there is no convincing me otherwise.

There are a great deal of people that want to talk “philosophy” and debate whether God exists or not. To me, these conversations teach me that there are a lot of people (me included sometimes) who feel alone and unsupported and are angry and blame God. To me, this is because we were taught that we are separate from God. The truth is that we are co-creators, we are part divine and part animal. There is nothing to be ashamed of, but perhaps one of our purposes in life is to extract the truth from this belief in separation so that we can create more beauty, love, joy and happiness in the world.


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Conscious love: "Turn the Other Cheek"

Matthew 5:38-42

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.


What we give to another, we give to ourselves.

We hide our shame and fear in other people.

So when we “turn the other cheek”, we replace negative reaction with positive, loving intent. Through positive, loving intent to see good and give love, we become mirrors for another and therefore ourselves, giving each other the opportunity to awaken to love and to healing.

Even if another is not loving or seemingly awakening, the love we give reverberates out to the universe so that what we give, we get in equal or greater return. This is what I perceive is meant by “eye for eye and tooth for tooth.” If we give shame, fear, and guilt, we give the same to ourselves, through perceived losses and set-backs. If we give love, we awaken to it and become more aware of our potential/purpose. Through this, we become more evolved, conscious and aware.

When we give shame and fear, we perpetuate hidden, unconscious drives and tendencies that get mirrored from the outside for us to at some point, become aware and heal from. We need only to ask ourselves what we can learn that the positive, loving intent occurs. It is only a matter of time. Therefore, let’s do our best!

May we awaken and evolve- each other!

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The evolutionary process

Through seeing and focusing on the commotion in our lives, we thereby create more of it. Through distraction, numbing ourselves, blame and shame, we give to “others” what we do not want to feel within ourselves. It is important to commit in advance therefore, that to see love is a choice and to be it is a practice.

Imagine that life is like a movie we go and pay for and watch on a screen. What we see in a movie, we expect to see because what we think we know about the movie, through the past actions of what it tells us, make it somehow predictable. So we pay and give in advance, oftentimes, what we learn from our past.

A wise teacher once said, “all growth starts with confusion.” Perhaps then, it is the practice of not knowing, embracing fear and uncertainty, and trusting so that we can watch a different movie and create from it what we truly wish to see and experience in our lives. This is coming from a place of no evidence, but of faith, that what we create is what we choose to see, regardless of what is being presented.

This can be quite a challenge; however, always turn to love and focus on the good of any situation. 2 of the 5 sutras for the times in which we live is that “there is a way through every block” and “start and the pressure will be off.” As we evolve into the Oneness of Love, the blocks will be our own self-loathing, emotional turmoils that we will need to heal from. If we focus on love, we will see that the impediments to our growth are in having been not seeing the love, as well as our confusion about what love is. Therefore, a significant stage in our growth and spiritual development is in relearning what love is.


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As Yogi Bhajan said, emotion can be either a catalyst for devotion or it can create commotion.

It seems that the ego really likes to pull at us, creating a neurosis that may seem at times maddening. We go back and forth between light and dark, heaven and earth, love and fear. At times, we love ourselves and other times, we want to run away from ourselves. We love what we do and then we hate it. This is what happens when our emotions become commotion. It becomes a noise that gets us out of being present to heaven: beauty, joy, abundance, and peace, here on earth. Through the commotion, we distract ourselves…

Sometimes distractions are a great companion and other times, they simply create more commotion. I notice that when I impulsively act from emotion, it tends to feed guilt and shame. Perhaps this is because guilt and shame are at the root of our belief in separation from God and has been so ingrained in our culture and conditioning since at or before birth. The difference, I find, is when I pray; when I shift my awareness and focus my attention on my devotion to Love, to God, that which is greater and higher than my ego. With prayer, even before I do something to distract myself, everything becomes more sacred. I notice that this brings me the greatest peace.

I pray for this remembrance always.

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Love and war

We have to keep trusting.

No matter what!

No matter who says we are less than we are.

No matter tyranny and mayhem that happens.

If we fight we fight FOR love.

We fight for unity and oneness.

There are no separations-

between “us” and “them”

There is no tyranny, that we do not do to ourselves or are also a part of.

To know this is to see oneness and at the same time,

to fight on behalf of God or “truth” would always be and only if in the name of love.

God is ALL love, unconditional, unwavering, absolute LOVE.

God sees no difference between “us” and “them”

At the same time, if we truly work toward love, then it is dissolving the illusion of separateness.

Can war dissolve separation?

Or do we feed separation through war?

When is love present in an act of war, where fear is not?

Where fear exists, the presence of God, of love, can not be noticed,

until we change perspective.

So think differently.

See choices

“There is a way through every block.”

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A taste of my own medicine

I can appreciate one who has given me a dose of my own medicine. The gifts that I bestow, bestow onto me to teach me what I do not yet completely realize within myself, the gifts that I am meant to develop. I gather that this is true for anyone who aligns with Creator and pays attention, believing in the possibility that the unique gifts of one will be seen in “others,” in mirrors.

“Sit on my lap” he said. I was skeptical and curious at the same time. Is this man trying to manipulate me or is he really teaching me something? So I sat and felt his strength of his leg and I felt my fear of being led on. My mind going back and forth between safe and unsafe, coaching me to feel my fears and open my heart, as I flooded with judgement, fear and curiosity as to what I might learn. And then at one point, I got to be playful and I told him I just wanted to feel safe, so he encouraged it and I laughed. At the same time, still feeling the fear, the uncertainty.

Then I sat down, away from him, still unsure about whether I got anything out of the session. He told me because I am kinestetic, I would know more later and that the whole purpose of touch was for this. When I left, I felt still a sense of uncertainty and yet, also more free.

Upon awaking this morning, I realized that the experience I had last night was much to do with feeling my own fears, facing the unknown through the kinestitic experience of play, learning to feel my fears of being led on. I imagine this is the feeling of anyone who has been inappropriately touched or left feeling abandoned. The feeling and need for safety and security, at the cost of the aliveness of letting go and surrendering. The need and love of touch, while holding on to the false sense, the illusion of security. As I write, I can still feel the feelings, the fear, which tells me I still have feelings to process…

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