Monthly Archives: October 2011

Fire Burning. Mind Wandering. Growing deeper into Earth.

I wonder how many of us can wake up into realizing the infinite possibilities and potential of creating more love in the world than fear. More of us embodying God’s unconditional love and grace and therefore, the freedom it brings to be of service to Mother Earth and her children and truly have fun and play in our bodies, without the need to hurt other potential awakened divine beings on earth…

I wonder…

I wonder how much time we have and about the next 7 generations to come…

I wonder how to be more effective with my words and if I am not, I pray for the courage to look and see where I am afraid…

I have a fire burning within me that wants to protect and help awaken the “crystal children,” the children of God that actually know it and have less fear because of it. I predict there will be more of them and that it will be fear that tries to suppress them, hindering our evolution into the next stage, the Aquarian Age. This is the age in which we realize our full potential. It is also the age of complete turn-around, which many will experience as crisis.

It is necessary that we look inside ourselves therefore. I pray that more and more, we set our intention to know God, feel fear and move forward, opening ourselves to alternative perspectives, new possibilities and greater trust, both within and out. I pray for the awakening, the courage to confront and stir the minds of those who doubt in themselves, while being unconditional love.

I have been asking myself what would unconditional love do or say to a person who wants to hurt people, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Would it not also mean that it is he who also wishes to hurt himself, for fear of being “bad” or undeserving of love, would create guilt and that would mean he would have to feel.

He thinks he is a “bad” person and fears something within himself that he keeps on manipulating and unconsciously telling lies and creating fear…

1)Would love accept the lie and swallow the truth, not making what is said real or mean anything?
2)Would love accept and allow, that what will inspire and awaken can really only be in the direct experience of God and light shining within “others”.
3)Would love be direct and confronting and tell One what he may not be ready or desirous to here, if it will help him now or later down the road?

The answer to all of them, I believe, is YES. Unconditional love would see the wounded child, past history, social conditioning, karma.. and have compassion, acting according to that.

Admittedly, I realize that the ground from which I work feels shaky at times. Floods of doubt and fear come over to say things like, “Who am I?” “I shouldn’t…” But I also know that the purity of love will keep me intact and that things for “me” have still yet to unfold, constantly unfolding. Clearly, this question comes because I have many encounters and experiences within myself and observing outside, to see that what holds us back from love is often our own lack of awareness in truth and that the courage to confront has it’s costs and benefits which I must look at in myself…

And so I now turn to realize that perhaps it is the part of me that feels loneliness that would have me doubt my actions and words when I do indeed confront and face the emotions that come from doing so.

As I realize this, I can let it go. I can let go and trust that I AM Unconditional Love and that the words I say and actions I take will teach me something and “other,” whether now or down the road. To escape “loneliness” is an illusion for what is it, but an indication for me to love myself. This only comes with the awareness of knowing who I am and that I wouldn’t want anything but to be the brightest light I can be on this earth.

I am true to my commitment once I am reminded, that the business of awakening in a world that feeds separation is not always easy and even the more “awake” people feel sad, lonely and tired of hearing judgment.

Because the belief that we are separate, creates more of it, thinking and feeling “bad” needs to be confronted and looked at deeper. To think that I am deserving of punishment feeds self-loathing, which feeds all our deep and dark desires, which feeds more guilt, and so the cycle goes.

To confront is necessary and it is loving, as long as one is aware of the benefits gained and the possibilities intended. That to be love is to speak it regardless of the perceived losses and pitfalls and to not, is to sit and watch someone live out of darkness and suffering and create more of it in the world.

I realize also within me that what is being confronted with “other” is also medicine for me, meant to teach and prepare me for what I do not see in myself, the many facades of myself, that is.

I am thrilled right now to currently be reading the autobiography of Gandhi. How opinionated was he and humble in his humanness and yet such a light of truth and purity in his heart. I am happy to here his process, his journey and commitment to choose the light of truth. I am inspired by his humility and courage to share himself with transparency and I hope to live and walk with confidence and courage as he, despite my humanness. I wish the same for “others.”

May we all walk in the light of truth that who we are is divine and full of infinite creative potential. May we walk and talk and be an example of humbleness, humility and grace that we need not be perfect but authentic to ourselves and creator. May what is unconscious, become conscious, felt and healed, so that we may live in the light of truth, that to think “bad” simply creates more of it and we need not suffer more than we need. Amen.

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Prayer

I pray that I may let go enough to see the illusions- all of that which prevent me from experiencing the presence of love. All the fear, all the doubt, whether mine or “other,” I pray that I continue to walk in self-reflective courage to see and be love, no matter what.

I pray that I walk in courage, knowing that I am a unique expression of the divine and that is enough to keep me moving forward. I need not compare myself. I need not prove to any ego that I am good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough.

I pray to distinguish all doubt from the truth that loves me and shows me who I am, which is divine and one with all.

I pray that I walk with the awareness of knowing that it is not God that doubts me, rather it is ego/fear and that this is the only distinction that I need to make in my life.

I forgive the ego, who thrives on guilt, shame and fear, and I am grateful, for it invariably shows me where separation leads and where I’d rather be, which is in the blissful state of knowing that love is the answer to everything in my life.

I let go of labels and I release the need to know. I trust that everything is working accordingly and in this knowing, I walk forward knowing that I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to serve the evolution of unconditional love, which is God.

I am grateful for everything in my life.

I am patient, trusting and I walk in faith that the love of God will pull us through all chaos, crisis, and illusion. I need not fall into the trap of believing that heaven is anywhere other than in the mind. In this knowing, I realize that heaven is a constant choice and that heaven is where all miracles live.

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Lying

The source of love does not reside outside. We often think we need to lie because we believe that it does. We feel ashamed of things we do, that lying becomes the habitual form of holding back. We say, we need to lie and that if we didn’t, we’d hurt “others” feelings but the truth is, we feel we need to lie because the shame and guilt we feel. A lot of us were conditioned to believe that if we didn’t lie, it would be too hard and burdensome to face the shame and guilt. At the root is a fear of judgement that if we were judged, we’d in turn have to face judgement on ourselves and that would make it more difficult to love ourselves. So we hold back, thinking we need to lie, only to face the consequence of guilt we have for lying and more lying and hiding to cover up.

If we knew that we were the source of love and that the love of God were in fact unconditional, that anything other than the love of God is ego, our choices to be courageous in the face of fear and judgment would be easier. This is my experience at least, that when I want to hide and become confronted, I realize the shame and can then decide to let it go. All I need is to remember the love of God is unconditional and that it was that in a flash, I chose fear and lied only to be presented with the shame and guilt as a consequence.

The Course in Miracles sources forgiveness as the salvation through which we render freedom and that if it were not for the guilt and fear the ego would not thrive to create the divisions we would have ourselves see or experience within ourselves. So perhaps it is that in lying, we mask shame, guilt and fear, only to create more of it, and that only until it is confronted within and acknowledged, do we have this opportunity to forgive ourselves and let go.

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Remembering takes Healing

Life it seems is a process of remembering and then integrating what we forgot into manifesting something that is for the good of all. It is our unique expression of love and of creation that is divine. We forget because we have been socially conditioned throughout lifetimes. We have been socially conditioned through media, friends, family, education, religion, and even art. We have been conditioned to look outside ourselves for answers.

Often, we don’t give ourselves the time and space to look within ourselves and we don’t have the mirrors that encourage this either. Easily do we forget the truth that who we are is divine and with that is infinite creative potential. This is one reason we turn and hide, that when we are constantly looking outside ourselves for answers, we get mirrors of suppressed and denied guilt, shame and fear that make it difficult to feel and see the truth that is inside. This truth is the way through every block perceived. At the same time, we mirror this guilt, shame and fear so we create more of it in ourselves and in the world. There is no one to blame and yet it is important to know that One is the true source of power, that is the deeper wisdom that is within. With this said, it is vital that as we evolve, that we find mirrors to foster this inner growth and that we take the time to go inside ourselves and look deeper at why we do the things we do.

Guilt, shame and fear are often disguised as projections of blame, the need to control, be right, superior, and/or victim. They are often what lie beneath the surface, driving our actions, that anyone looking to learn about themselves and heal will have to uncover and acknowledge. It will be difficult for some and yet the process of remembering takes undoing ourselves from the sources, the mass conditioning and paradigm that believes that we must fear in order to be better. Few have really benefitted from this paradigm thinking, while a great deal of us suffer.

Because it will be difficult to see that many of our perplexing thoughts and negative feelings are actually created by us, we will want to process this with another. At the same time, always trust the light. Imagine light. Visualize it. Integrate it into the shadow as much as possible. Invite it in and more of it will come. This light is love and you will know this light is love by the peace that it brings. This light is God and is always inside us.

Until we learn to integrate this light, the process of remembering could be clouded with doubt. This doubt is likely to suppress our truth that who we are is infinite, spiritual and beyond anything dark or base or negative that we fear. In time, this doubt will reveal itself as one of the greatest blocks to spiritual growth and development.

May the higher purpose be served.

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