I now have a problem, another opportunity to stretch and see. I am faced with the projection of taking without asking. On one end, the mind of God has compassion and understands completely. On the other hand, my ego-ic self wants to withdrawl, justify, and defend. While I want to lash out in judgment, the mind of God says “Hold on!”
How does it feel?
I feel angry, sad, and disrespected. Quickly, the anger turns to sadness. At the same time, I understand; I am not too sad. I feel compassionate and vulnerable.
In my body, the pain resides in my heart. I feel vulnerable there because I want to keep it open.
So then I ask, how is this person a reflection of me and what do I have to learn?
Well certainly, I have done the same thing. In fact, when I feel that energy is being “taken” from me, I feel justified to take back. I am not committed to this cyclical defense however, because it only feeds guilt for me, I realize.
It is possibly the case that for some reason, this person feels justified to take from me. Perhaps I should be grateful? Yes. I am grateful. Yet, we have communicated agreements and this one is not being respected.
Are there any agreements that I am not respecting? I suppose the only thing I can do is ask and stay in communication because I do not believe that there are agreements that I am not respecting.
The Course in Miracles wisdom would say that it is a cry for love…
If it is a cry for love, there is something this person may be afraid of. This person may feel resentful and feeling alone. When I am crying for love, I am afraid. Usually, I am feeling alone.
Also, when I take from someone, I am afraid to ask. I am afraid to ask because I am ashamed to ask. Because I am ashamed to ask, I don’t and so I take and then I justify why I am right for doing so. When I justify why I am right because I take, I am really hiding my guilt. While this is going on, I am not present.
And so the cycle goes. However, when I am ashamed, I have the opportunity to communicate my shame or I swallow it…
When I communicate my shame, I usually feel better. However, in the past, I have also been shamed even more. For this reason, I sometimes choose not to communicate my shame.
Every moment is an opportunity to be honest, to come clean with my shame and guilt.
Every moment is an opportunity to right my relationship with God.
Every moment is an opportunity to communicate love, rather than fear.
If I am honest and communicate my shame, I am free.
When I continue to hide my shame, I am less free because I am not present to God.
What am I committed to?
I am committed to love and awakening. I am committed to God. Therefore, I see the only thing to do is communicate. While it is always scary, if I communicate, I am in right relationship with God and I can be happy about that, even when the person I am communicating with, might be defended.
This is a reminder not to shame when one is being honest, but to hold space and to offer an opportunity for One to awaken to God’s love. Even when the mistake keeps being made, be courageous to communicate lovingly.
Be open to making new agreements.
As Terces and Matthew Engelhart, the owners of Cafe Gratitude, would share- the 8 superpowers of community are:
1)Make a request
4)Hold the seat of love in the storm of separation
5)Generate the will