Today, I was reminded again of the unconscious guilt I gave to a woman that I saw at the grocery store last week. As we were both at the salad bar, I asked her a question for which she abruptly cut off and answered, “no.” I was surprised, as she did not even here my question and so without thinking, I said, “Thanks for listening.” After I said this, I saw the reaction on her face, as her shoulders dropped. I imagine that she felt bad. Suddenly, I felt guilty.
“What was my intention of saying that?” I asked myself.
I realized that my intention of saying what I said was to make her wrong. Unconsciously, I was shaming her. I thought she should know that she wasn’t listening, as if she should listen. I wasn’t in the perspective of what was going on in her world. I wasn’t in the perspective that maybe she was really in a hurry, or had a lot going on or that maybe she wasn’t loving herself enough to really be present with me. Clearly, I have done what she did before.
The Course in Miracles speaks about this unconscious guilt, and even though, I feel much more aware of myself, I still forget sometimes that:
ALL IS CREATING LOVE OR ILLUSION BASED ON FEAR AND SEPARATION
This is probably why the foundation of the Course is forgiveness. It is commiting in advance to see love, however, knowing the illusory world is so ingrained in our culture, that the guilt we so often give to ourselves must be forgiven in order to truly grow.
At the same time, what the Course calls “unconscious guilt,” must come into our awareness, before we are to forgive ourselves. This is because, “unconscious guilt” is usually hidden in “other;” we often create it when we blame and shame.
When I shame and blame, when I am full of “should” and “shouldn’t,” “what’s wrong,” not accepting the reality presented in another person, and therefore, myself, I create unconscious guilt for myself. This is because what we give to others, we equally give to ourselves.
Even though, we can not be responsible for how another person experiences our words, we can still be responsible for how they create. Oftetimes, we are creating more guilt, shame and fear than love. To attract the kind of love we so desire, we need to be aware of our intent when we communicate- not only the words themselves, but the energy behind our words.
We want to ask ourselves, “How can I communicate my feelings, consciously, with love and respect for both me and another?”
To become more conscious of our unconscious guilt, we want to withhold judgement, blaming and shaming,”making wrong.” It is possible that when we do this, we will experience the guilt that we would have projected onto another. Oftentimes, this guilt comes from somewhere of our past, which we were taught. We want to learn how to separate from this.
When we become conscious of the guilt and shame that we project, we can make different choices. By becoming more aware of our guilt, more and more, our choices and our being will reflect truth, which is love. If not, what guilt that becomes unconscious are likely to be a cause for many of our tendencies, habits, fears and wars.
Being present to our projections and the unconscious guilt that we were taught are important keystones to being in our own energy, the energy of divine love.