Monthly Archives: May 2012

The Fine Art of Illusion

This life and what we see is an illusion. Everything that we see that is not of spirit or of God is untrue. Thus, one may choose to live in the illusion aware or unconscious. To do so is to either respond to the world in which we see out of love or to react to it out of fear. One draws us nearer to eternity, while the other further away. While fear perpetuates illusion, love creates what is real and is extended to “others” living in the illusion. Love is created through presence, through forgiving, accepting and through sharing.

When one chooses with awareness to live the art of illusion, then they are choosing to live from a world in which love is the foundation for all their relations. Fear, on the other hand, is to be confronted and addressed within.

Mystics, they may be called, are the bringers of heaven on earth and the example of the children of God, in which, Jesus taught:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he can not enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ (John, 2:20-3:18)

To be reborn, as water and Spirit, is to be a bearer that is committed to light and love and to bringing peace to this world. To be born again is to see a return of innocence, a pure-heartedness, vulnerability and playfulness.

We are all meant to see these “mystics” in ourselves and our expression of It may vary. We are meant to bring each other home by emulating their love, appreciating their spirit and working to address our own fears and human weaknesses. However we may choose to live in the illusion, it is first and foremost brought with the consciousness to bring love to it. Whether the consciousness of one brings them to glamour and fame or to be a householder and settler does not matter so much as the love that they carry, the example of which is loving, kind, and on purpose. Thus is the case that wherever One’s light is carried, regardless of what they do, how they dress, and where they visit, those around It will become elevated and increase their own light as well.


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Spiritual Emergence leading to Crisis: Shakti Pad

Spiritual Emergence leading to Crisis: Shakti Pad
Shakti Pad: The stage of the Practitioner

Along the path of wisdom, of spiritual development, we meet at Shakti Pad. This is the stage of the practitioner and is “the most crucial, transitional, and challenging of all the stages.” This stage determines whether we progress toward mastery. In my textbook “The Aquarian Teacher” Level 1 manual, what is required at this stage is the “ability to choose a goal, fix on a motivation, and consciously commit to a set of values.”

This stage of spiritual development is also “the test of power.” Where decisions are done out of habit or unconscious patterning, doubt prevails, commitment is lost. The practitioner does not excel past this stage until he gives up what he thinks he knows is best, the desirable, and begins to embrace trusting what he doesn’t know. This is why Yogi Bhajan describes this stage to the next as determined by a leap of faith rather than a rope which connects the practitioner directly to the master.

“The experience of this type of decision-making is often unpleasant and frightful. It is beset with uncertainty and often fills the practitioner with doubt. It is a perilous and existential moment. It is an agonizing decision- a question of identity and commitment. The decision is made through deliberate effort to reach the correct perspective of the whole, and to discern the true significance of the decision.”

If the practitioner looks at the whole situation and consciously acts from the whole or part of the whole, this period in training will be won with trust, healing, and a greater connection to God or ONE Self. Thus, it is at this period where the test of one’s belief in God is most challenged. It may be a dark period and for some cultures or religions, this stage of spiritual development is where we go through the “mystic death,” the death of the “false” self or the ego. At this stage, the practitioner struggles with his belief in God and higher intelligence. He may resort to blaming God or other people for his problem and fall back on old ways of doing and being that do not serve him or his higher Self. Maybe he forgets what it is he truly wants and because he is fraught with so many difficulties within himself, he becomes depressed. The practitioner in crisis who finds himself aware of the alternate reality struggles with this reality because he is still afraid and his trust has not yet outgrown his fears. Thus, he clings to what he knows as much as he can. Possibly, the practitioner feels that he is losing his mind and indeed he may. However, the possibility of “no” mind could be a gift, as the practitioner becomes more aware of himself, he finds himself less reactionary and more in trust of the “unknown.” His glass is empty and because of this, he can be a great teacher, guide, and lover to all. If he falls predator and prey to fear, however, he could suffer a great deal; his heart will not be interwoven with his decisions. If this is the case, he must always return to balance through actions having to do with heart, that is through self-love and service to others.

At this stage of development, we find that the ego wants to hang on while the ONE self desires to let go. This is perhaps what OSHO describes as schizophrenia. This stage in spiritual development is beset with uncertainty and perhaps can be described by some as “the dark night of the soul.”

Some practitioners at this stage do not experience ego-death and may wonder why they should have to. Their ego gets stronger and they become more imbedded in the web of illusion, also known as maya, which is beset with karmic influences and universal laws. The practitioner may blame God or other people because his ego believes they are more deserving and they resent having to have to go through anything at all. They retreat back to old ways of being without seeing the hint of what there is to learn or heal from. The ego does not want to see oneness; however the practitioner in spiritual crisis is being jolted to practice what he himself resists and yet must see. The ego strives for control, certainty and specialness and becomes ignorant, depressed, isolated, and/or split thus leading to even more dissociative thoughts that make him seem crazy to “others,” who are also unaware of the spiritual nature of the “problem.” The practitioner succumbs to fear and and can not see light; however the light is always there.

I share this information because there doesn’t seem to be a lot of talk of “Shakti Pad,” or spiritual emergencies. I feel called to share this information, because I know that for some, a spiritual emergency can happen on a unconscious level, meaning without intent of a spiritual emergence or awakening. For those who are on a spiritual quest, perhaps this writing will be a sign to stay on track or an offering of some kind. It is my understanding that some spiritual emergencies are actually “kundalini awakenings” that can lead to greater connection to oneself and God. However, without the awareness or preparation, this experience can lead to crisis. This is why the path of healing is so important and especially at this time. If we aren’t on a path of healing from the ego-ic mind, the separated self, we can be unaware of the true nature of dis-ease and dissociative disorders which lead to fatigue and more depression. We must all be on a path of healing to prepare ourselves for the spiritual emergence that is occurring at this time.

I gather this information partly from books as well as from intuition, personal experience and observation.

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Tale and Prophesy

There exists many fears that can but be narrowed down into one. The fear of being alone calls one to react, to the degree of all other fears and leaves the Child of God forgetful and withdrawn. The fear of being alone, therefore, is rooted in the forgetfulness of one’s own nature and what he seeks to find is validation from those whom also forget their own nature. Thus is the world created, for the fear of being alone leads to all other fears and causes one to cling to the body, at the cost of his spirit.

While the spiritual warrior transitions from fear to love, he finds himself feeling fear but also aware of his nature, stronger than ever before. For what he now knows is that he is loved and in this knowing, he is protected with wisdom, grace and peace of mind. Because he now knows that he is never alone, he finds himself more courageous and with a desire to serve. With gratitude in his heart, the fear subsides. As he remembers Truth beside him, he knows It never leaves. It becomes his guiding light.

The spiritual warrior walks with those beside him, also, gathering light on their way. They stop and see and become attracted because in them, they see themselves. So they unite as One, blessing the world and bringing peace.

Now there are those who do not wish to see and reject the light because they do not feel hope and think they fail. Their belief is that they are alone and because of this, they do not wish success on anyone, except themselves. Their success is hardly that, for it is never good enough and because of this, they have to continuously re-inject the drug of what they think makes them but doesn’t. The spiritual warrior gathers strength in compassion and in seeing Truth, for while his light alone can not bear witness to Its correction, the light of All combine to point the way.

Thus, a new world is created, for the light that bears brings light to all, and even for those whom wish to deny, they will see that the light is for themselves to love and seek wisdom in their learning.

Thus is a new world created, when brothers and sisters unite, to bear witness to the transformation that occurs when we teach love by being it; thereby, we grow our inner light even more.

Thus is the new world created, when boundaries dissolve, and we see the Truth of all and the sameness in what we fear.

Thus is the new world created, when we see our light and know that something greater is what clears the path.


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The Fear of Failure

Fear of Failure

One may look out in the world and fear failure to exist and so compare himself to a point of confusion that he stands still and does nothing.

The belief of failure is a belief of something at stake, a fear rooted in losing something, i.e. material things, power, control, love, stability, pride. It is rooted in a fear of what it would mean if loss took place, i.e. “I’m unworthy,” “I’m unlovable,” “I’m alone.”

All losses however are illusions that upset ego structures, which we either shed or build upon as a result. Oftentimes, failures feed upon each other through internalized beliefs that prevent one from seeing themselves clearly. So when failure seems to exist within relationships, projects, and business, the ego structures grow to protect from internalizing the belief, pain or loss, which it does not want to feel or acknowledge. Invariably what this leads to is more pain, for the ego reacts out of fear of failure in ways that are self-sabbotaging; through justifing, shaming and blaming self or “others” for having “failed,” one creates more opportunities for failure to exist. Through feeding the belief in scarcity, being alone, being separate, one is more likely to stay stuck in a fear of failure.

When “failures” seem to occur, One should therefore ask,

“What can I learn to grow and evolve, to be a better person than I am today, through this experience.”

“How does my fear of ________, reflect my current failure?”

When we see failure, solely, as an opportunity to grow, we can also see that failure does not mean anything. When things happen and we make a mistake or something goes wrong, we are meant to surrender and let go and see where we can grow and learn. Rather than internalize beliefs, failure is meant to shine light on our Oneness, through seeing that we are not alone. Failure is also meant to shine light on where we can grow, where and what the obstructions are that we put in our own way to prevent us from evolving into One.

When we embrace failure, success is inevitable, because we let go and are able to move forward. To move forward is to be moving in the direction of the creative impulse that desires Itself to expand and serve out of love. Thus, “failure” becomes a synonym for success in that it becomes a practice opportunity to let go, surrender, and see Oneness.

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When memories arise: evolving from pain

The memories which arise tell you what you have hidden and are to be acknowledged and learned. While the memory may seem random and out of sorts, it is not according to the holy spirit; for what has arisen is an opportunity to heal through acknowledging the mistake or error which One is meant to correct.

While it is not “bad” nor is it “wrong,” the memory which comes into awareness is what has been unconsciously hiding, suppressed and denied out of the guilt, shame and fear of reprimand. This memory is meant to show the unconscious guilt, shame and fear, that was created by the denial of it having occurred.

The memory is responsible, at least in part, to the formulation of habits and tendencies, which create more guilt, fear, and shame. Thus, when the memory arises, one may not enjoy it to the degree that they suppress and deny it longer. This can create problems for the memories come into awareness gently at first. However, when long denied, the memories may manifest in overwhelming degrees as mental, emotional and physical stress. It is not because one is being punished that the memories or feelings manifest at such inappropriate timing and under stressful conditions though, for One’s desire to evolve and grow, perhaps unconsciously, has himself create “punishment” and dis-ease to become more conscious and therefore free.

Memories that come into awareness may manifest as degrees of mental, psychological and physical dis-ease when not acknowledged and felt and should therefore be considered a gift when they arise. The gift it brings is the opportunity to heal what has long become unconscious guilt, shame and fear. While there are degrees of pain, shame and fear, experienced in acknowledging particular memories, it is helpful to seek guidance and loving support when the pain is too great and overwhelming to look at. When it is not so painful, however, the memory can simply be acknowledged and therefore corrected.

When the memory arises, we heal that part of ourselves that reacted by acknowledging the mistake and opening our heart to be forgiven. We will want to feel forgiveness in our hearts and for this to occur, we want to process the pain there as well. It is also good to welcome the holy spirit, by asking for Its help. To forgive, also, we may be called to build courage and communicate, to apologize, to acknowledge the pain caused or inflicted by oneself or another.

Suggestions for when memories occur
how to heal them:


How come this memory is coming into my awareness?
Is there an associations regarding this memory in present time that I should be aware of?
What can I learn about this memory?
How might this memory have affected my ability to love in the present?
I acknowledge that this memory created pain for me (or someone else), what can I do to restore love to my relationship (with myself, God..)?
What would I like to be and do the next time this happens?

“I ask for help in remembering this pain when/if it happens again.”
“I forgive myself so that I can learn and be the best I can be, in service to my Creator.”

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