Holding the seat of love: a process to Healing

“Disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed” John McMullin, Journeys of Wisdom

For one to move forward in life, one must have the capacity to learn how to be comfortable in the uncomfortable; that is, to “disturb the comforted and to comfort the disturbed.”

To disturb the comforted is what many people avoid. On the other hand, many other people do it at the cost of love, through blaming, shaming, judging and with closed hearts. To disturb the comforted is to integrate possibilities where one sees none. It is to confront ego attachments to being right, justified, and perhaps superior. Also, it is confronting manipulations, hidden agendas, and the excuses we make to hide our wounds.

The root of the problem is most often underneath our words, hiding in shame and fear, not to be disrupted or brought to the surface. If brought to the surface, anger is revealed; however, often, the anger is projected onto other people. One’s anger may be the victim, “poor me” mentality, while another’s anger may be more aggressive or passive-aggressive.

To be able to disturb the comforted, one must be firm within oneself that what they are confronting is not the Truth. Perhaps what is confronted is a relative truth that either inhibits or impedes there spiritual growth, and perhaps what is being confronted is not true at all. One must assume that they do not know, but be willing to confront what comes up as a possibility. Then, one must be strengthened enough to not take the defended ego personally. It is common, for one to be defended and take personally what is being confronted. To hold the seat of love through not reacting but being with can be the most healing part of the process.

Thus, when one considers the possibilities, more healing can be integrated. Until then, the tendency will be to scratch the surface, without any depth of feeling to emerge. This is likely to be the time when One’s needs are more in learning tools to integrate how to self-love. To confront ego-attachments, hidden agendas, excuses, and ultimately, the beliefs we failed to feel, one must have a strong enough capacity to integrate love.

The process of healing is rooted is an ability to integrate love and confront ego-attachments, the obstacles to a deeper love.


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