Do you ever feel that you are in a state of confusion that disrupts your peace of mind and leaves you feelings stuck?
This writing offers perspective on the confusion, doubt and fear that often occurs when making decisions.
Oftentimes our peace of mind or lack thereof is directly related to unforgiveness or the fear of sin. The unforgiving mind is a mind that is so afraid of making mistakes that it can not fathom moving forward. As said in Course in Miracles,
“The unforgiving mind is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees; afraid and angry, weak and blustering, afraid to go ahead, afraid to stay, afraid to waken or to go to sleep, afraid of every sound, yet more afraid of stillness; terrified of darkness, yet more terrified at the approach of light. What can the unforgiving mind perceive but its damnation What can it behold except the proof that all its sins are real. The unforgiving mind sees no mistakes, but only sins. It looks upon the world with sightless eyes, and shrieks as it beholds its own projections rising to attack its miserable parody of life.”
A good deal of crisis and confusion is the result of the unforgiving mind, which makes any amount of moving forward in life near to impossible. In not moving forward, that is, in not taking actions toward that which brings us curiosity and joy, we become angry, resentful, judgmental, and unaware.
Usually, confusion, doubt and fear is caused from 2 opposing thoughts- 1 thought which reflects a desire or action and another thought which reflects the fear or judgement of taking action on the desire. One can say that the 2 opposing thoughts are between both love and fear, forgiveness and unforgiveness.
For me, confusion and doubt has been my greatest block to freedom. At the same time, it has also been the precipice for change in my life. Whenever I am about to explore something courageous, new, and potentially “dangerous,” especially when it is outside of the norm or rules of society, I get confused. This confusion is usually indicative of a battle between the 2 opposing thoughts. It also usually becomes the first sign of a developing and expanding awareness that opens my heart and grows me. Additionally, confusion often represents a healing, an awareness of the unforgiving mind, in which I fight, feel separate and battle with.
Whether I decide to act on a thought or desire or not, the confusion that is created ultimately becomes my study and helps me to clear the muck from the water in which I swim. First, it is the opportunity to love the unforgiving mind. To acknowledge its fears and ask what it needs to hear, to assure that it is loved. The confusion also is an indication that I must still gather the vision, strength and wisdom necessary for me to move forward into my new experience consciously, that is with dignity and trust. Like the fool that without mind or thought embarks into the unknown, with curiosity and joy, he must also eventually come to reason with himself about how much he has grown from his experience, how much he has trusted and how much he has let go, in order that he might inspire the world; the fool is the spiritual warrior, the seeker who represents to the world, the state of confusion in which we embark into the unknown in order that we may love more fully.
Confusion often represents to us a doorway into unchartered territory, a territory in which we desire to explore, but safely, knowing we are loved and lovable. At the same time, it indicates to us our deeper fear that we are not loved, that we are alone and without a guide to lead the way. The confusion that is often created symbolizes the fear, the unforgiving mind, that says, “if you do this, then you are bad, wrong, and punishable by God and thus the world.” “If you do this, there is no turning back!”
The unforgiving mind would have it not be that our confusion lead to courage, grace and acceptance of our choices; however, it can be exactly that. Our confusion can thus become the precipice in which we learn to love and experience more fully all that life has to offer, in whichever choice we may make. Confusion is often the state prior to experiencing life, integrating wisdom, and moving forward in greater joy, peace and harmony.
Confusion often settles once we make a choice. No matter what choice we make, the process of clearing, envisioning and embodying wisdom, leads us to realize that there is no choice that we can make “wrong,” especially when we go into our choice with love and awareness. There is no experience or choice that will doom us when we powerfully choose to love and forgive ourselves regardless of the outcome.
So- with that said, if you feel confused, in doubt, or afraid about the choices to make in your life, you can ask:
Am I afraid of making a mistake? What mistake am I afraid to make?
If I make a mistake, can I forgive myself? What do I need to know, that I may trust, learn and grow from my experiences/mistakes?
How curious/excited/desirous am I to learn about this particular thing that I am confused about?
What next step can I take that brings me closer to recognizing the value in my desire?
If I act on this desire, what can be the benefits? What can I gain from this new experience?What are the costs? What might I lose?