Monthly Archives: July 2013

Are your complaints disempowering you? Are you running the same story in your head?

Every complaint has a gift.  If we think of a complaint in terms of higher purpose and as something that has already happened, then we will view  our complaint, or pain, as something we chose to work on in this life.  All complaints, when powerfully chosen, lead to higher purpose; they can not bring us anywhere but closer to love.  When a complaint, story or disempowering belief is not powerfully chosen, then it is because it is still teaching us; we have not experienced enough pain to drop the story.

In order to drop the story of a complaint, it seems to be difficult.  Indeed, even if one were to consistently try, the story or disempowering belief will still come up.  This is because our complaints have lessons- universal teachings- that we are meant to learn and embody.  The more we learn the teaching, the more we embody and teach it to the world.  While partly we teach to learn, it is also true that various trials and “tests” will occur to help us embody the universal teaching to a larger degree.

As said in Course in MIracles, “Who are Gods Teachers,”

               “They come from all over the world.  They come from all religions and from no religion.  THey are the ones who have answered.  The Call is universal. It goes on all the time everywhere.  It calls for teachers to speak for It and redeem the world.  Many hear It, but few will answer.  Yet it is all a matter of time.  Everyone will answer in the end, but the end can be a long, long way off.  It is because of this that the plan of the teachers was established.  Their function is to save time.  Each one begins as a single light, but with the Call at its center it is a light that can not be limited.  And each one saves a thousand years of time as the world judges it.  To the Call Itself times has no meaning…There is a course for every teacher of God…Its central theme is always “God’s Son is guiltless, and in his innocence is his salvation…It does not matter who the teacher was before he heard the Call.  He has become a savior by his answering.  He has seen someone else as himself.  He has therefore found his own salvation and the salvation of the world.  In his rebirth is the world reborn.”

Without our stories, complaints or limiting beliefs, we would not be here.  However, the teachers of God, as talked about in the Course, are those whom choose to see their complaint in a light that eventually will become brighter.  This light becomes stronger as soon as the teacher looks inside and asks, “What do I have to learn from this experience?”  “What universal truth is Creation calling me to teach/embody?”  The light grows when the teacher has passed enough tests to see the universal theme consistent in the teaching and to respond with love, without needing to react out of fear or shame.

With this said,

Is their a disempowering story, complaint or belief that you are running in your head?

If so, ask:

“What do I have to learn from this experience?”

“How do I react to this thought/belief/story/complaint?”

“What universal teaching/truth is Creation calling me to teach/embody?”

“Is there anything I need to say or do (respond to) in order to have this teaching be more integrated within me?”

Write down this teaching on paper.  Read it to learn it.


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When relationships don’t last or never begin: the gift


Sometimes there is pain in relationships that do not last and/or never begin.  We, often, project our pain as a story that means something about who we are as deficient, flawed or otherwise less than or too much.  The pain from a relationship that doesn’t last or never begins usually entails an experience of a forbidden love, an unavailable emotional bond, and a lack of feeling special.  “Why can’t the other be available?”  “Do they not see?”  “Are they blind?”  “What is the problem?”  “What is wrong with me?”  “What is wrong with them?”

At times, we people, living the singled life, can frustrate ourselves with thoughts of the unrelenting love that just won’t show up in our lives.  Our emotions then create commotion in our lives that make it difficult to really be fully present to the power of now.

I have realized overtime that falling for unavailable men has been a great gift.  While it is admittedly heart wrenching at times to want to explore in partnership with another being of like-mind, who is not available, the value of falling for unavailable men has been extremely insightful, allowing me time to reflect and heal.

The gift that the emotionally unavailable offer:

1) Insight one:  Relationships aren’t available for good reason.  Many times, people carry emotional baggage/wounds from incomplete relationships.  When a relationship moves too fast, they pass them onto their lovers.  This makes it more difficult to realize purpose.

2) Insight two: In chasing the unavailable, the fantasy of them can become disappointing when they do become available.  This puts things in perspective that living in fantasy land is really not the most productive use of time and energy.

3) Insight three: Falling for the unavailable and realizing the above things helps us to become more present to life NOW.  We can notice when we are in fantasy land faster and so choose whether we really want to be in it or not.  Also, we become more accepting of what is and although we don’t know why the relationship didn’t work out, we can be more comfortable and trusting of the unknown.  I have found the application, “I do not know my own best interest,” from a course in Miracles to be extremely helpful in this context.

4) Insight 4: Falling for the unavailable brings up emotional material that is an opportunity to heal.  The fear of aloneness for example is an awareness that ultimately allows the spiritual warrior within to emerge, thus to be more capable of living alone, developing a more harmonious and healthy relationship within.  The awareness of our mistrust of being connected to a higher source or purpose, also, allows us an opportunity to shift our perspective into seeking a higher purpose; through this, we become inspired.

5) Insight 5: Falling for what’s not available and getting upset about it is a form of self-betrayal stemming from fear or a lack of feeling connected to One’s higher purpose.  When we idolize people to be more for us than they are, we leave ourselves.  We compromise the integrity of knowing who we are as with a purpose.  We forget that our higher purpose is guiding us in all that we do and leak energy for the sake of thinking someone else is better.  Self-betrayal stems from mistrust in Source and fear of the unknown.  When someone is not available, then it is helpful to consider that it is because their higher purpose does not serve our own at the time.  When relationships are meant to work out, then they do; there is a sense of ease and grace within relationships that are meant to be.  Also, the likelihood of Self-betrayal is diminished significantly, for when relationships work out, it guides us toward fulfilling our higher purpose.

As said in Course in Miracles,

“Whenever you feel fear in any form- and you are fearful if you do not feel a deep content, a certainty of help, a calm assurance Heaven goes with you, – be sure you made an idol, and believe it will betray you.  For beneath your hope that it will save you lie the guilt and pain of self-betrayal and uncertainty, so deep and bitter that the dream cannot conceal completely all your sense of doom.  Your self-betrayal must result in fear, for fear is judgement, leading surely to the frantic search for idols and for death.”


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