In Relinquishing Special Love: Transforming Special Love to Holy Love

One seeming dilemma in transforming the special love relationship into a holy one is the potential  loss of excitement and enthusiasm of receiving “special” attention from one significant other.  When one is on a journey to create and manifest more holy relationship(s) in their own life, that is in complete honesty and authenticity to One Self, then what they are really doing is turning heat and passion for a body (or bodies) over to God’s will, which is in loving and accepting people as they are, despite the ego’s desire to be more significant or more special than another.

While the world’s view of love has thus far been based on meeting conditions, which is emotional, the Holy love relationship is primarily about living in the heart, which generally requires at times the ability to let go of one’s own desires and rise in love, accepting and loving people wherever they may be.  With this said, the rising in love of relationships, meeting people, accepting them, honoring them for being honest with themselves, will automatically transmute emotional love energy into conscious love energy, from passion to the body over to passion to implement God’s will, which is at its foundation based on friendliness.

Emotional love energy fuels most relationships, conscious or otherwise.  However, emotional love energy is also often less mature, fleeting and based on neediness, fear and shame.  It is also more passionate, heating, and destructive.  When connected to the heart, emotional love energy fuels higher purpose, Self-expression and freedom.  A good deal of us struggle between living in the heart and living by our emotions.  While living in the heart will expand our capacity to experience emotions, living for our emotions will make it more challenging to live in our heart.

Thus, the challenge happens with the onslaught of doubt; when the spiritual warrior or the miracle-minded begin to question God’s boundless love for them.  Remembering that God’s love is boundless and all we really want, we are able to open up to the freedom that offering boundless love brings to us.  Only then can we truly experience the bliss, joy and happiness that the release from the special relationship can bring.  When we can remember the state in which we are free by extending love to another, our happiness and bliss will expand.  However, when we doubt that by offering boundless love to another that we are better off, freer and happier, then we are more likely to become resentful, manipulative, controlling and possessive, completely reactive to our emotional turmoil over not feeling special enough.


In Truth, the degree to which one can be released from fear of not maintaining a special relationship, the more real love will enter, not just in the form of true and lasting friendships, but also in the experience of greater devotion and life purpose, a deeper sense of reason to be here on Earth than ever before.  While the relinquishment of the special relationship may bring up unconscious fear, shame and guilt, the undoing of it, will inevitably lead to the fulfillment of purposeful relationships, both rooted in Spirit and in Love.

 Whenever you are challenged, unenthusiastic, or feeling a shift in perception that creates discomfort or doubt in you, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?  Is it the body or the Truth?  Am I discontent because I yearn for emotional love and acceptance, to feel special by another or because I am mistrusting that God’s love is boundless and will not bring to me the sense of peace and joy that I long?”


“Remembering God’s love is boundless and by extending the Truth, which is love, to another, I am made freer.  I willingly release this fear of not being special and give it to God.  Through this, I am made freer.”


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