This is what spirit is teaching me about honoring my time in relationship and love:
When one is in a place of need to honor oneself, the fear of love leaving may come up. Even when in love, where within relationship there is potency, depth and intimacy, the need for space is a requisite for sane, healthy and loving relationships to last.
The need for solitude and the balance of communing and co-creating with multiple energies are necessary consequences reflecting one’s commitment to live in love and to being in the present moment. However, in the transition of making special relationships into Holy love relationships, the choice and decision of where one places their energy can be a scary one. It may seem that love has left, and while the boundary or need for space may be what leads two to real communion when together, the feelings one or both have may be unsettling.
Depending on what is being created within a particular relationship will the need for space and time be determined. Sometimes the relationship will call for more time together and for other times, the relationship will call for less. Regardless, the need for alone time and communing with other creative energies, family, friends, and colleagues are necessary components to living in harmony.
The fear that arises may stem from the fear of love leaving, which of course, stems from what Course in Miracles calls, “the tiny mad idea,” or the moment in time when we decided to fall asleep, believing we are separate from God. The fear of love leaving or this “tiny mad idea” perpetuates a belief that love is external to our experience and therefore, changeable, fluctuating and in need of compromise.
The fear of love leaving is oftentimes what keeps relationships together; even when it is clearly not in service to the relationship. Not acting on one’s deeper longings and commitments, for example, due to this fear, is more likely to lead to resentments, feelings of guilt and fear that self-sabbotage one’s best efforts to living in love; this invariably prevents one from being present with their partner and with what they are creating.
Within relationship, it can be difficult to admit that the need for solitude and time with others is necessary. However, the courage and strength that is mustered to honor and love one’s need for “time” is far more beneficial for a relationship than one that is based on a fear of love leaving or being One Self. Thus, within the relationship there is a need to remember that “love never leaves its source” and that within relationship, the decision to honor oneself is required to create and live in harmony.